Bad times...

I came back from my trip to NY and went to Utah to visit my brother Lucien for his birthday, watch my brother Charles graduate from BYU, and deposit my brother Lawrence at the MTC. I also climbed a mountain, an accomplishment I was excited to share. But the night I got back from my trip, a dear friend passed away. I was too consumed with funeral preparations, etc., that blogging about my Utah trip was the last thing I wanted to do. Ever since, things have been rough. I just haven't felt much like sharing the depressing details of my life. But, I am feeling better and so I revisit the blogosphere. All of the pictures were taken on my phone, so sorry they aren't great.

These were taken when we went to visit Lucien for his eleventh birthday. It was a wonderful day. I miss him a lot, but, hopefully, this time, though hard, is the right investment for his future.




This is what my feet looked like after climbing the mountain. I was wearing socks and tennis shoes the whole time.

Here's Dad, on the way down, with some lovely flowers. They were everywhere and every color. Amazing.

We saw lots of these guys, too.

I took this picture the moment I reached the saddle. I guess I'm kind of a namby pamby, but I started crying. I hiked from the lake to the summit alone, and before that, my brother and I got lost on the Aspen Grove face of the mountain. We had to climb straight up, through unbelievable and nearly impassable growth, in order to (after an hour) find the trail again. (During the adventure, I experienced a free fall, and what it feels like to grab a thorny bush and have to pull all of your body weight up with thorns digging into your flesh.) So, when I got to the saddle, I was exhausted, alone, and a little traumatized. But when I saw this, it all became worth it. I realized in that instant why prophets climbed mountains.


Just a couple other fun things. I was having trouble with the setting on my engagement ring, so I was able to have it completely rebuilt. You probably can't tell from the picture (being from my phone), but it actually looks a lot different. I like it. It's lovely.


As you probably know, I want to have children more than anything in the world. But, that's just not been in the cards for me. I want children so badly that I daydream sometimes about finding an abandoned baby and being allowed to keep it, or about someone leaving a baby on my doorstep. So, I was surprised a few weeks ago to come home to this.


And finally, can you believe I wore this get-up to church. I did.

Stories

Evelyn LOVES books. It could be worse. She could be addicted to TV or food or drugs. Anyway, we have read LOTS of books. Today we read a book called, "Little Toot," by Hardie Gramatky. It's not what you think. It was published in 1939 and is the story of a self-conscious tugboat. I found it quite the historical treat given my modern perspective on politics and environmentalism, and the fanatical and trendy green movement going on right now. (Don't get me started.) I offer you a little sample.





That's right. This is the heartwarming tale of Little Toot, who, despite being embarrassed by his little toot, can at least be proud of his smokestacks. And yes, in the end, he saves the day with his emissions. Now-a-days, you couldn't get a publisher to touch that with a 10 foot pole.

Confession

Before I begin, let me be clear. I feel REALLY bad about this. Even though I couldn't have for seen it or done anything to prevent it, it happened on my watch and I can't make it better. Evelyn has a lot of big plastic toys. Yesterday, she had one in the living room. She stood up and picked the toy up by its handle and looked like she was going to take it back in her room. At the last second, she decided to swing the massive plastic toy up over her head and it slammed into the wall to the right side of the door frame. The dent is pretty bad. I couldn't get mad at her because it was an accident, but we went to the wall and talked about how the wall got an owie and how we have to be more careful with our toys because wall owies make Mommy very sad. She must have been listening because when we read "Olivia," she points to this picture and says, "Wall, owie."

Evelyn and Careen Party 3

We woke up at 8 again today. We took our time this morning and left the house around 10:30-11. We went to a different playground so we could swing and so I wouldn't buy anymore cupcakes. It was lots of fun, and I was trying to be a good aunty and indulge my niece a bit. I let her stay for a really long time. (Almost an hour on the swings.) But it turns out I did her a disservice. I learned today, and should have learned yesterday, that hunger is a major tantrum trigger for Evelyn, and we were VERY late for lunch. Everyone is grumpy when they are hungry. I can't blame her. But we had a really hard time getting in the stroller and trying to walk down the sidewalk with me trying to protect her from her head banging. Once we got to the store, she cheered up. We bought some frozen french "fries" to bake for dinner and finally got some whole milk. After naps, we watched Sesame Street and had snacks. We also had a bath. Bath was interesting. She pooped in the water, and it was pretty soft...if you know what I mean. I seriously don't know how she makes that much poop. But, at least she's regular. It was made somewhat comedic by her commentary. As she stood there, she said, "POOPing!" Then when I pulled her out, she pointed to the water and said, "Clean it." Then as I did, she said, "Gross, gross. Gross." After dinner (don't worry, Emma, she was tired of the fries after like 8 of them) I realized that this was Evelyn's last chance to go get ice cream before Mommy and Daddy come home. So, we took wet curls, OU jammies, monkey, baby, and bib to McDonald's and "shared" a hot fudge sundae. (You can worry about that a little, Emma, since I only got a couple of bites.) Needless to say, I didn't put much in her evening milk cup. I'm surprised she was able to drink any at all. Now she is sleeping peacefully in her bed.

Yesterday...

I forgot this funny story from yesterday. Evelyn was eating applesauce and said,

"Hot, hot."

I said, "No, it's normal. Not hot, not cold...normal."

"Normal...Laurel!!!"

"Normal sounds like Laurel, doesn't it. Maybe Laurel will come visit soon."

"Nonna!!!"

"No, Nonna can't come visit. Nonna has to stay at Nonna's house."

"Buh-bye, house."

Evelyn and Careen Party 2, cont.

We had a cupcake after dinner and then Evelyn had some 1% milk. We didn't make it out again for the whole. Maybe tomorrow. Evelyn went to bed on time and, again, silently. She is now sleeping soundly. If you haven't sat in a rocking chair in a dark room with a 2-year-old snuggled up with you and sung "I Am a Child of God," "I Love to See the Temple," "Love is Spoken Here," and "A Child's Prayer," you should try it. The songs will take on a whole new meaning and you will be so overcome with emotion that you may even tear up a bit. I am very grateful to my parents for teaching me the simple and fundamental truths expressed in those songs. I remember my mother singing them to me when I was very small, and I look forward to singing them to my own children. But for now, I am grateful just to be able to sing them to Evelyn.

Evelyn and Careen Party 2

This morning we woke up at 8:00. We hung out a while, ate breakfast, and then decided to try to go do boats and store since we didn't get to yesterday. We made it to boats. There were LOTS of boats. There were even kayaks and a swimmer. We chased birds and pushed the little pink stroller. Then we decided we wanted to go to a playground. So we walked to 90th and 2nd. We had lots of fun there. Evelyn's favorite part was stealing another child's ball and playing "fetch" with herself. Then, on the way home for lunch, we decided to get some cupcakes since we walked RIGHT past Two Little Red Hens. Unfortunately, Evelyn (for no apparent reason...she wasn't mad) threw her corn on the floor when she was done. I explained that "we don't throw food at this house" and that I couldn't give her any cupcake unless she said she was sorry. I held it in front of her for a long time, trying to coax an apology from her so we could share a cupcake, but she would just NOT say the word "sorry." So I put the cupcake away and cleaned her up for nap time. She didn't seem torn up about it, even though she said a million times that she wanted to cake I had in my hand. Oh, well. Maybe we can have cupcakes later.

Nap time went well. Evelyn went down w/o screaming, and slept for a full hour. Then she played by herself in the dark for another 45 minutes or so. I cleaned the apartment and we left at about 3:30 since the realtor was coming over for a showing. We thought it would be fun to go to Barnes and Noble, read stories, and play with the trains. I looked it up on my phone and walked 1.5 miles only to find there was not a B&N there. So, I looked it up again, only to be told to go back to 3 blocks from home. By the time we got to the second destination and discovered that there was also no B&N there, we were both pretty angry. Can you blame us? I walked 3 miles for no reason, and Evelyn had to sit in her stroller for 1.5 hours for no reason. We decided to go to the store and then go home to watch signing time. BUT, the store had NO whole milk. We are home now, watching signing time and getting ready to go back out again to get milk. Oh, boy. I think I need a cupcake.

Evelyn and Careen Party 1

Evelyn woke up from her nap to find Mommy was gone. She cried. We had a talk and I explained to her that Mommy went on a trip with Daddy, and they would be back on Nursery day after nap. I told her that Mommy and Daddy have been married FIVE years and they are celebrating with a "Mommy and Daddy Party." Then I told her that we were going to have an "Evelyn and Careen Party!" And she said, "Party!" Then she ate some cottage cheese and some of my string cheese. During the cheese portion of the party, we came up with a plan. First, we would go see the boats and play with the stroller. Then we would go to the store. Then we would come home and watch Sesame Street. We were really excited. We went downstairs, out the door, opened the umbrella, and started to walk. The I said, "It's really wet and cold." Then she said, "Cooold...all wet." So we went inside, closed the door, and had another talk. We decided to have an inside party today, and do boats and store tomorrow. So we watched Sesame Street, read stories, did puzzles, colored, played Hide and Seek, talked to Laurel, talked to Nonna, and learned to make elephant sounds. Then it was dinner time. I gave her some of my "treat juice." She took a sip and said, "Yummy." Then she said, "Thank you," handed me the cup, and said, "Water." Then we put on monkey jammies and a clean diaper, drank some milk, read some stories, sang some songs, and then Evelyn SILENTLY went to bed. She coached me a lot along the way, but we had a good inside party. And now I'm gonna watch TV. I love TV.

Boat!

This overlook is a block and a half from their apartment. Yesterday Evelyn and I went down to look for boats. We saw lots of cars and people, and a few very exciting boats.

Dinner time

If Evelyn doesn't like what she has been presented for dinner, she is happy to make suggestions as to what would be an acceptable alternative. The other night when the missionaries were over for dinner, she made the following suggestions:

"Cheeos, Cheeos, Cheeos, Cheeos..."

"No, we're not having Cheerios."

"Beans, Beans, Beans, Beans..."

"No, this is what's for dinner."

"Pasta, Pasta, Pasta, Pasta..."

"Evelyn, we're having meatloaf tonight. See? It's yummy."

"Samich, Samich, Samich, Samich...SAMICH!!!!!"

Mark wishes I were half this opinionated when it comes to what I want for dinner. But for future reference, dear, all of the above are acceptable dinner ideas, except for legumes straight from the can. I find that mildly disgusting.

"Evelyn, guess who's on the phone?"

To which Evelyn excitedly replied, "Laurel!!"

"No, it's Daddy."

p.s. If you think Evelyn only loves Laurel, you should know that she has also been asking for Lawrence and Poppa.

Church with Evelyn

My niece LOVES nursery. She loves it so much that when the last speaker said, "Amen," Evelyn screamed, "Nursey TIIIIIIIIME!!!!" Then she did it again after the closing hymn.

Also...

Mark has been in Boston for less than a day, but I already miss him terribly, and I won't see him for 10 more days.

New York, New York

We have a complicated relationship, New York and me. But we are going to have to work through our differences as we will be spending the next 10 days together. It's been a long time since we've seen each other, but I have high hopes that we've both changed enough that we'll be able to get along. (Especially since I will be alone with a 2-yr-old for four days.)

Target and Dierberg's

My local stores were sweet to me this week. Check out what I got at TARGET:

transaction 1-
10 joint juice fitness water (there's no green tea in it)
2 boxes Eggos
5 pkg Fudge Shoppe Grasshoppers (mmm)
4 boxes Morningstar Veggie Sausage patties
Total spent=$16.50
Total received=$5.00 gift card

transaction 2-
10 Sobe life water
Total spent=$5.00 gift card
Total received=$5.00 gift card

transaction 3-
10 Sobe life water
Total spent=$5.00 gift card
Total received=$5.00 gift card

So, I spent $16.50 out of pocket, but I have a $10 rebate coming from Kelloggs and a $5 target gift card in my wallet.

Now check out what DIERBERGS gave me for FREE:

8 pkgs Chinet plates (15 ct)
20 Blue Bunny personals ice creams (mmm)

Groceries

I was really proud of my grocery outing last week. For everything you see above, I paid...

$46.33!

2 bags of tortilla chips
2 gallons of milk
chicken breasts
1 lb 81%lean ground beef
1 pork roast
1 pork loin
1 loaf bread
1 pkg hamburger buns
2 onions
2 4-packs yogurt
2 boxes onion soup mix
1 bottle olive oil
1 vitamin water
1 bottle ketchup
sugar
1 box quart freezer bags
4 boxes cereal
1 box wheat thins
1 box ritz
2 travel size toothpaste
1 travel size lotion
5 wholly guacamole (to freeze)
5 wholly salsa (to freeze)
12 disposable razors (to donate)
12 kool-aid pkts (paying $1 for all these, saved me $2 on the sugar)

...on the Arkansas!

I admit, I was wary. But now that it's all over, I can eagerly report that whitewater rafting is one of my favorite pastimes. Not only am I alive, but Mark only had to save me four times. A big thanks to my in-laws for planning the whole thing, and Independent Whitewater of Salida, Colorado, for safely guiding us down miles and miles of river.

Brown's Canyon-6/16/09

After we realized that we were being photographed, we stopped doing this...

Here's a better picture. Mark and I on the left in front of Chris, the trainee, and Mark's sister and brother-in-law on the right in front of Keir, the guide.

Here's a good shot of Keir. The other boat's guide, Miller, may have won the "nice guy, awesome mutton chops" award, but Keir definitely won the "best guide" award. It's an ongoing argument.

...and, another shot of our boat.

The Royal Gorge-6/17/09

I wish I could document the Gorge better. But all I have is this silly picture. Seriously, everyone else is paddling, and amidst the air in my head, I am thinking, "Look, a man with a camera...smile."

I did find this old newspaper image on the national park service website (nps.gov), but I couldn't tell you where it came from originally. This picture captures the Gorge pretty well. I wanted a picture from our vantage point (looking up), with the river, rapids, bridge, and scenic railway.


The only thing you can't see is the miles and miles of old wooden pipeline attached to the rock along the river. As you might expect, it is in horrible disrepair, but still amazing. I found some pictures, but, again, I couldn't tell you where they came from. Suffice it to say, they are not mine.

The Numbers-6/19/09

On the 18th we had a "day off" to rest. It was sad that I was sick all day, but good that I was sick that day and not any other day during the trip. By Friday morning, I was fit as a fiddle (well, fit enough to fiddle), and ready to face our most intense miles of river.


By, Friday, we had mastered the synchronized paddling. These picture are taken in succession so you can kind of get a feel for it.

If you jump in this hole, you are supposed to be able to go under the rock and back out into the current. This is a picture of the hole after Mark jumped into it.

Here I am getting ready to jump in.

Here I am stuck in the hole because I wasn't heavy enough with my life jacket to get deep enough to go under. Terrifying. Finally, and without warning, the current sucked me under and out. I just wish I'd had some air in my lungs when it happened.

Our guide took this picture as we were about to hit a rapid. Mark and I are on the left.

Everytime Mark jumped off a rock and into the river, I made him kiss me...in case he didn't come back up. This time I didn't, and he was under water for a LONG time. I almost started screaming. You can see me there on the right, looking concerned. It's hard to tell from this picture, but the 2000 square feet per second of water is pouring through an 10 foot wide narrow.
I wasn't brave enough to jump off the rocks, but I did wade upstream a bit, dive into the river, and then swim the rapid through to the other side of the narrow. Here I am before,

...during,

...and after Mark and his brother rescued me from the current I wasn't strong enough to swim out of on my own. I'm the V on the left, Mark's the V on the right.

And, to sum it all up, a heartwarming picture of us, our boat-mates, and our guide (taken before we started the numbers.)

WARNING...

...lots of pictures!

There are quite a few I have neglected to post. So, let's play catch up:

In April, Emma, Mom, Evelyn, and I went to Kansas together to visit Evelyn's maternal-maternal great-grandma and grandpa. She loved the farm. "Ouside, ouside" is apparently quite a novelty for city kids. Here she is playing. For those of you who knew my siblings and me as children, who does that look like? Scratch that. Anyone can play...it's not that hard.

Here she is playing her new favorite game, "giddily jog down the length of the feed trough."

Emma and Evelyn spent some time in St. Louis with Mark and me before flying back to the city. Em and I took her to Kirkwood to visit...

...OUR CHILDHOOD HOME. Well, one of them, anyway.

A few weeks later, my dear friend, Amy, came to visit. We picked her up at the airport and drove straight to St. Charles to buy a piece of furniture I fell in love while antiquing with my mom a few days earlier (pictures coming soon). Then we made her run various additional errands with us. In order to convince her that visiting us would actually be fun, Mark made crepes! We had additional friends over and made quite the evening out of it.



During her stay, Amy and I drove up to Nauvoo. She has attended two Barrett weddings in Nauvoo, but hadn't ever had much opportunity for sight seeing. So I indulged her.





(We MADE that rope! I hopped up a down a couple times to show off my jump-roping skills. Result: a throbbing headache. It was a sunny day.)

Once back in good 'ole StL, we went to the botanical gardens.

Don't knock the umbrella. It was a sunny day. Seriously, though, I heard this kid ask his mom, "Why does that lady have an umbrella?" Humiliating.

We went to the arch as well, but refrained from standing in a long line to cram ourselves in an antique pod elevator that would take us to the top of the arch, a vantage point from which you can't actually see the arch.

Instead we stayed on the ground and took pictures. In the following picture it almost looks like you could wrap your arms around the base of the arch...

...but, really, you can't.

I know, I know...it's cheesy:



And of coarse, we spent some quality time with Mark as well. He made baguettes and needed a couche. The only other preface I will give to these pictures is that we are dorks, and Mark used to have a plain white tee: